Things are still going well with Zoloft and I. I do feel that I am better able to deal with things around me and that I don’t take things as personally anymore. I feel that I have more patience with things in my life and that I am having an easier time setting realistic goals and sticking with them and not worrying if so much if I don’t meet them. The world will not come to an end it I eat a few hundred more calories than my goal. Everything will be ok even if my co-workers have bad attitudes and sometimes like to take it out on me. I don’t have to take it. I can say something in a nice way and clear the air but I also don’t have to take what they said personally. That is what I would have done before and I would have felt insecure and bad about myself. I can finally feel that start to lift away from me. Things have also begun to become more enjoyable for me. Playing and just hanging out with my daughter is more fun because I am not worried about steps I should be taking to get to some unrealistic goal for my life right now, Going to the gym is more fun because I am there to get fitter and not just to obtain some number on the scale or some pant size. I also feel like I have more energy and that I am not as drained. Hopefully these great things keep going and I keep feeling like I do. Next week I am on vacation with my family and that is, believe it or not, when I will really need patience and help. I love them so much but after a week with my 2.5 year old, all over the place husband and worry wart mother sometimes I feel like I need another vacation of my own!
Days 2, 3 and 4 have been good with Zoloft. I think my mood has improved alredy even though I know the drug hasn’t kicked in yet. I just feel better knowing why I feel the way I feel and that there is a way to feel better. Things are already way better. I don’t have any side effects so far from Zoloft which I am happy about. I know it is early on but so far so good! I actually had a nice weekend because I didn’t let things bother me and other people’s moods affect me. I took it for what it was and did what I needed to do and was happy. Before I would have skipped everything I had planned to do and just done nothing. I would have let myself have a bad weekend instead of just dealing with the issue and moving on. i am proud of myself and the good weekend I had and that I was able to accomplish it!
So I went to my doctor today and he prescribed Zoloft for me. I just took my first pill about 2 hours ago. If you can’t tell, I am very nervous about this whole thing. I am willing to try it since my counsellor and doctor seem to think it will but I also know that it doesn’t work well for everyone and that there are a lot of potential side effects. I am trying to follow my counsellor’s advice and not read the side effects list or surf the web for people’s experiences. I will have my own experiences and I shouldn’t get worked up over what others have encountered is her thing. She is right. I just need to try it. Take it and see how it works for me. I normally handle prescriptions really well and there is no reason why this should be any different.
I am going to try to write just a little bit at least everyday for the first few months on Zoloft just to track how I feel and how it is affecting me. I am very optimistic that I am going to start feeling better soon with this drug and with talking with my counsellor.
This hit home for me. It is what I do!
When it comes to seeking happiness it is important not to negate any of your emotional responses. Often we tell ourselves that feeling sad is not an acceptable state of mind because so many people have it worse. However, in doing so we are discounting our natural response to our current situation. It is important to remember that we have to sometimes be sad if we are to be happy in other moments! Understanding your emotions and allowing yourself to feel them is essential to working past any negative ones that occur and embracing the positive ones that surface.
Many people try to find happiness in making others happy. Although this is of course a great thing to do, it can often be to distract the person in question from dealing with their own emotions. If you are one of these people that spends a great deal of time worrying about…
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Trying to just be me is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do. I mean, I am always me but I am trying to be me without worrying about what others think of it and that is the part that is hard for me. I am always trying to make sure everyone is comfortable around me and doing what they want to do and that they support everything I do. I need to realize that not everyone is going to agree with everything I do and that I cannot make everyone happy. That is a sure way to make myself miserable which is exactly what I do.
I finally decided to go talk to a counselor about how I have been feeling. There is at least one day each week where I could just stay in bed and cry and not do anything all day. This has been going on for months. I am good at making myself get up and do what I need to do but the joy in things is not there. My counselor recommended that I start taking a anti-depressant. I meet with my regular doctor later this week so he can prescribe one for me.
I am nervous. I don’t like taking medication but if she thinks it will help I will do it. I am starting to feel like I am missing out on things because I am not happy enough to fully enjoy them. We will see how it goes and I will try to write hear so I can keep track of my journey and possibly get support from others.